Explanation

Hello Followers!

I would just like to start by saying I’m sorry for disappearing. My senior year got hectic and I didn’t have any time to set aside for my other personal obligations like this blog. To all the people that ever said senior year is a breeze…THEY LIED. But regardless, now it is over since I graduated. Graduation tastes so bittersweet. I mean, I’ve been pining to leave my town since I moved here, but now that I am 2 months closer, it’s weird not to be seeing the same people I got accustomed to anymore. I feel like that today is just another weekend, and that I will be dreading the next Monday in school. But then I wake up, and I realize it’s summer and I’ll be moving in college soon. Weird.

But that really isn’t the reason that I still didn’t come back to this blog. It’s been 3 days since I’ve graduated, and it was 3 days ago that one of my fellow classmates got shot and died on the night of graduation. On June 26th, 2013 my friend and peer Isaac Rinas died at 10:45 PM. He wasn’t my best friend nor was he in any of my classes. But he was my classmate since the second grade, and for 10 years I was able to see him grow up. He didn’t mature completely or get his entire act together, but he still tried. That day when all the seniors went rushing to get our diplomas and some waters to relieve the heat sickness we got during graduation, he was standing right behind me. Since it was really crowded and there was no point in trying to rush, he and I talked. He talked about how we never really got close, but how he wish he had. He remembered how I broke his pinky because he wouldn’t stop touching me and remembered fearing my reflexes since then. He said how he always saw me either in the hallways having heated and intense conversations with people or just listening to my music and sliding my way through people. I didn’t even know that he saw me in the hallways, and it meant something to hear that from him. He then apologized for the shit he put me through in elementary and middle school telling me that he just didn’t know what else to say. He then told me about his future plans and I congratulated him for having a future planned for himself. I’m glad that we had that conversation. I’m sad that it was our last conversation ever, but at least we ended it well. It was 3 days ago that he was standing behind me telling the ladies “We have places to go. Just give me my diploma and I’ll be out of here” and I responded “We all just want to get out. You’ll get yours soon Isaac.” And that is how our last conversation started. 

This is not the first time I’ve dealt with death, but it doesn’t make the blow any softer. You really do not know what you had till it’s gone. It may seem like a cliche thing to say, but it doesn’t really ring true till it happens to you. To me, it hit me 8 times, now 9 with Isaac added to the list. He was someone that I always found obnoxious but kind to those that he felt deserved his kindness. He was always fresh but always spoke his mind. He always knew what he wanted, even if he didn’t always go the best way about it. He will always be remembered to me personally because 10 years of being in the same school doesn’t just go away, neither does every good and bad memory he has left with me and the rest of my graduating class. I will always miss him even if he wasn’t my best friend. And to anyone that has anything to say against it is truly selfish. 

Rest In Peace Isaac Rinas, you will always be that kid who walked around with his head held high ❤

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