“Appearance is something absolute, but reality is not that way – everything is interdependent, not absolute. So that view is very helpful to maintain a peace of mind because the main destroyer of a peaceful mind is anger.”

– Dalai Lama



I feel in this day and age, humans forget that de-stressing is a practice that can be done through different methods. Most people just believe it to be relieving your stress through some kind of outlet, whether it be writing in a journal, listening to loud music, eating unhealthy foods, or even exercising. But what people seem to forget that there is another form of de-stressing, and that is to take the stresses out of your life and evaluate the purpose there was for you to bring it into your life. It seems that is it too easy just to forget why you really included it in your life underneath all the stress that you built all over it instead of on top of it.

The whole essence of achieving something you actually enjoy is about building it up block by block. Whether it is a negative or positive thing, it is supposed to build up to the sky with a strong foundation and a workable future. If instead of a skyscraper, you find yourself with a uneven development of little houses, then you have been avoiding problem after problem thus making it an uncontrollable mess instead of an obtainable success. Just take a minute, close your eyes and breathe. Think of the major stresses in your lives. Do you see a skyscraper making its way up, or do you see a run down village with underdeveloped homes?

If you see a skyscraper: good for you. Then repeat the exercise with the rest of your stresses that you can easily identify and assess it in a similar matter. This way, you are not forcing yourself to be stuck in the same rut of not being able to stressful at a healthy level.

If you see that run down village: take another minute to remind yourself why you have this stress in your life to begin with. Was it for your own benefit? Was it for someone else’s sake? Do you even remember why it entered your life in the first place? Think over your response to those three questions and really contemplate what your next step forward will be. Repeat this with all of your stresses.

Of course, this is not the perfect response and there is a possibility that it may not work for you specifically. However, it never hurts to try especially if you find yourself frequently stressing instead of being successful or even happy. My main point in this post is that although I believe the other common outlets I had mentioned in the first paragraph may work well and seem to work every time, it just seems as if they are to run away from your problems and stresses instead of addressing them and actually doing something about it. Sure, nothing gets fixed overnight or immediately. BUT, running away from it or putting it off to the side won’t make things better at all, so take that into consideration.